"Hellhounds"
Review by Diablo Joe

Audio version


"Hellhounds"

Legendary horror comics illustrator Bernie Wrightson once described his general distaste for the bloodsucking undead, saying, "I really don't care for vampires. They tend to be snotty and actually like being vampires." Then, he counters," I had a good time with werewolves. You can always have a lot of sympathy for a werewolf," adding, "This poor guy didn't ask for this to happen to him. I always related to that."

That outsider, restless aura that often seems to surround werewolves and a wolf's pack nature always seemed to make them a good fit for the misunderstood misfit from society. "I Was a Teenage Werewolf" first tapped into that angst, but it was 1971's "Werewolves on Wheels" that tied the full moon fever to the biker outlaw or drifter figures of that era. Writer/director Robert Conway, whose last film, 2021's "Skinwalker," explored shapeshifting horror in a Western genre setting, has given us in "Hellhounds" a lupine/One-Percenter exploitation mashup that aims to land as many of the punches of each genre as it can.

Alias is a member of the Hell Hound outlaw biker gang enlisted by bounty hunter Mia, who is looking to track down a Hound prospect named Dave, a serial killer who has been kidnapping road travelers, holding them in a trucking container to await their fate. Meanwhile, Virginia and her boyfriend, Kevin, are trying to lay low in The Scrapyard, a cartel-controlled desert hideout for people on the run. But Kevin isn’t well. He’s been the victim of a strange attack in the night. And while Virginia has drawn the ire of Remo, the cartel head in control of the Scrapyard, Kevin has attracted the scent of female werewolf Lucella, who has even more sinister intentions.

If it sounds like there’s a lot is going on in “Hellhounds,” there is. An awful lot. And it’s more than a bit too much. Not even mentioned above is the subplot of the Hellhound's rival gang, The Silver Bullets, with whom Alias and Mia have a particularly bloody run-in. The film even teases an introduction to the great DB Cooper, once the mysterious highjacker, now just an old man hiding out in the desert. Conway’s story has multiple plotlines, most with some pretty clever and fun ideas, but none of which get the treatment and fleshing-out they deserve. The biker portion of the film fares best, as the werewolf elements play second-fiddle to a great degree.

Much of the cast here returns from working on Conway’s previous picture. As Alias, Nathaniel Burns is having a good-ol’ time wisecracking and grinning, a twinkle in his eye as he shoots a Silver Bullet member in the head. Newcomer Dana Kippel shows her spunk as Mia, holding her own with the burly, bearded Burns. And it’s nice to see them have an uneasy friendship unencumbered by any hints of romantic entanglements. Conway regular Cameron Kotecki seems a bit meek and lost as the nascent werewolf Kevin. His somewhat wishy-washy character seems an odd point of fascination for queen bitch werewolf Lucella. Perhaps it’s because that character is played with such lustful passion and gusto by returning Conway performer Eva Hamilton. Hamilton is sexy, confident, and simply electric. She’s easily the most thrilling and enjoyable aspect of the film.

This isn’t to say that the movie isn’t likable. Despite its morass of plotlines and often meandering story threads, “Hellhounds” can be pretty fun. What’s not to love about a biker bar that tosses in every trope, from topless biker mamas to brawling badasses (complete with bottles smashed against heads)? And the gore effects are gruesome and well executed overall. The full-tilt werewolves are shown a bit too much for their own good. Their fluffiness would have benefitted from a bit more shadow and imagination.

It would have been nice to see Robert Conway take a few of these choice ideas and really run with them. They all have promise, though some more than others. Obviously, the guy has imagination and can create some fun and enjoyable characters. And while they may not be enough (or too much) to make “Hellhounds” ride at the front of the pack, they rumble and howl with enough abandon to make the film worth a watch.

This devil of a reviewer gives “Hellhounds” 2.5 out of 5 imps.